Monday, September 12, 2005
Monday, Monday...
Just thought I'd put up a quick post since I haven't since I recounted my adventure in Houston.
I'm in training this week to learn how to create c#.NET web applications. It's a 5 day course, and I've just completed the first morning. So far it's been pretty basic, but I'm looking forward to plugging some gaping holes in my knowledge.
This weekend was pretty busy. I went to San Antonio Friday evening and Sunday morning for a jujitsu seminar. It was a lot of fun, though challenging. Friday was a flow drill and a punching drill, Sunday we worked more on locks and a "your evasion is your strike" excercise. I ran into some frustration which is pretty common for me when trying to learn physical skills (most obviously in the martial arts, since that's the predominant physical skill that I try to learn, but I've run into it with dancing) - I get really frustrated when I don't get something, and I really want lots of words to help me understand it. Unfortunately, words aren't always very effective in learning to do physical things. I feel like I have to get it RIGHT NOW, and if I don't, a) I never will, and b) that means that I'm completely hopeless and awful. Learning to be patient with myself is a real struggle. My training has helped a lot, but the journey continues.
Thinking back on it, acting was another realm where I didn't excel, and had expectations for myself that were too high, so I abandoned it because I felt like I couldn't do it. Acting also involves a lot of emotional availability and emotional IQ (if you will) that I certainly didn't have then and am really still not that great at.
The most significant progress I see in myself is that I'm willing to put myself in that uncomfortable position of trying something -- and sticking with it -- that I'm not talented at.
Part of it, of course, is learning that my self-worth isn't defined by my abilities - that if I'm not good at something, it doesn't mean I'm not good on the larger scale. It's hard to divorce the ego from actions like that, and it's hard to develop the ego strength to believe myself ok regardless of my physical talent, intelligence, etc. It's hard, but it's important.
And so I journey on.
I'm in training this week to learn how to create c#.NET web applications. It's a 5 day course, and I've just completed the first morning. So far it's been pretty basic, but I'm looking forward to plugging some gaping holes in my knowledge.
This weekend was pretty busy. I went to San Antonio Friday evening and Sunday morning for a jujitsu seminar. It was a lot of fun, though challenging. Friday was a flow drill and a punching drill, Sunday we worked more on locks and a "your evasion is your strike" excercise. I ran into some frustration which is pretty common for me when trying to learn physical skills (most obviously in the martial arts, since that's the predominant physical skill that I try to learn, but I've run into it with dancing) - I get really frustrated when I don't get something, and I really want lots of words to help me understand it. Unfortunately, words aren't always very effective in learning to do physical things. I feel like I have to get it RIGHT NOW, and if I don't, a) I never will, and b) that means that I'm completely hopeless and awful. Learning to be patient with myself is a real struggle. My training has helped a lot, but the journey continues.
Thinking back on it, acting was another realm where I didn't excel, and had expectations for myself that were too high, so I abandoned it because I felt like I couldn't do it. Acting also involves a lot of emotional availability and emotional IQ (if you will) that I certainly didn't have then and am really still not that great at.
The most significant progress I see in myself is that I'm willing to put myself in that uncomfortable position of trying something -- and sticking with it -- that I'm not talented at.
Part of it, of course, is learning that my self-worth isn't defined by my abilities - that if I'm not good at something, it doesn't mean I'm not good on the larger scale. It's hard to divorce the ego from actions like that, and it's hard to develop the ego strength to believe myself ok regardless of my physical talent, intelligence, etc. It's hard, but it's important.
And so I journey on.
# posted by Amy @ 10:38 AM 
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Yay, I can comment!!!
Know what you mean about there sometimes being not enough words to describe something physical. I don't learn physical things well by mimicking. I need details, details, details. I annoy the crap out of people at boxing, who are like, "Just, you know, move like this, then bam! Bam!"
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Know what you mean about there sometimes being not enough words to describe something physical. I don't learn physical things well by mimicking. I need details, details, details. I annoy the crap out of people at boxing, who are like, "Just, you know, move like this, then bam! Bam!"
# posted by 
: 11:35 AM
: 11:35 AM << Home
